Hi (TheWife),
Thanks for the nice note and starting the blog. I will be happy to participate in your blog. You are a member of the community and not just ‘sort of’. You are a special person and we are happy to have you AND Melanie.
Unfortunately sometimes coming out does mean that you have to separate from your spouse. Coming out for me was not easy. At a very early age society teaches males to reject the feminine side of themselves. Like most, for most of my life I did just that working hard to express masculinity. I guess you hear the same story over and over with different twists. I was a closet dresser since I was a young man and always tried to hide it. Late in life as a married man the ‘urges’ became stronger and I tried to come out to my wife with not so great results.
She eventually took the position that it was a ‘sickness’. I went to much therapy and even Sexaholics Anonymous trying to ‘get cured’. All the time going through dress and purge periods, living rejected in a no sex marriage and having periodic affairs. I was miserable..
I finally decided to accept myself and reject my wife’s opinions. About 3 years ago I decided to get divorced a decision made more difficult by the fact that I am the father of a terrific then 5 year old child whom I love more than anything. If someone could have convinced me that it would have been best for the child for me to continue to suffer and stay in the marriage, I would have done it without a second thought. I decided that it was better for the kid for me to me happy than to stay in the marriage and be miserable.
Now, like your little Melanie I am lucky to be with a partner that not only accepts me but actually gets into it, loves the drag scene and loves me in drag. –sigh. Of course (TheWife) you have to take care of your own needs too. Balance is critical, its not just about the crossdresser or TG.
I appreciate your goal to change attitudes and I will join you in that effort. It’s time society embrace feminine males. I can recommend two books I really like both by Peggy J. Rudd, Ed..D; CROSSDRESSERS: And Those Who Share Their Lives and Crossdressing With Dignity: The Case for Transcending Gender Lines.
Cindy
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