Sanity Vs Society: The Moodswings of a Crossdresser

Crossposted from lynnindenver on LJ with permission because I think, being on the other side of this crossdressing discussion, that this should be addressed.

Lynnindenver said:

Sanity versus Society
The fight between the religious desire that everyone conform, and the trans desire to live as we need to, continues in several areas. The frightening part is that many people consider that we can change to match society expectations.

As a crossdresser, I will admit that, yes, I can ‘suppress’ my transgender tendencies. But, having examined myself since I started acknowledging this a couple of years ago, I can tell you what that entails:

I was irritable at work, to the point of angry outbursts, which started to subside as I began exploring my feminine side.

I was susceptible to manipulation and emotional abuse in a cyber relationship that started shortly after I began presenting female online.

I was subject to online addiction until I realized how severe my gender problem, despite, I think, not being quite far enough to qualify as TS, actually is.

Now, the way I see it, even if my case isn’t potentially fatal, it’s capable of causing me no end of grief and trauma. On the one hand, I fly in the face of society’s rigid gender structures, and some people automatically find it offensive because they have their own unanswered doubts about the way they’ve been raised. On the other hand, trying to squeeze myself into that tiny little gender box for so long rendered me capable of flying off the handle easily, that I had serious affirmation issues that enabled others to take control of me, and indeed made me very much a social disaster waiting to happen in most senses.
I’d rather have a fighting chance to make my sanity checks than cater to anyone else’s feelings about how the world ought to be.

And my response was:

My husband had a three month cycle where he’d get irritable and angry and annoyed for about two weeks out every three months. He’d talk about throwing out all his girly stuff and how he was just “this freak”, ect, so on and so forth. It was REALLY REALLY hard on me, not just because he was suffering but because *I* had to be in constant control of my temper and emotions unless I start snapping and yelling back. It was harder than hell some times.

Then we moved to CA and I made a point of taking her out on “married-dates” at least every few weeks or so and gently teasing her until she dolled up for them. Needless to say, Melanie has routinely missed her angry “period” for the past year. So, from the other side of that equation, let me simply say this:
THANK YOU. Thank you for finally accepting the release of it. From all the people you were unhappy AT, THANK YOU.

So let’s talk, folks. How many of YOU feel that your attitude directly correlates with how often you get to dress? How many of you (spouses, family members etc) not a mood shift when your CD/TG gets to dress up?

Tags: crosspost, debate, discussion