As I’m sure some of you have noted, CDWife went down for a little bit as my hosting limit was hit yet again. I haven’t passed ’round the hat or anything yet, but please glance at the previous entry when you’re done with this one.

Halloween is a’coming and with it the favorite opportunity of many a closeted crossdresser – a chance to don a dress with hardly a worry. After all your crossdresser can go all out – wig, eyelashes, makeup, stockings, bra, all topped off with THE DRESS… and no one any the wiser, right?

My beloved came tromping down the stairs this week in a frilly pink creation straight out of 16 Candles or Pretty in Pink. You know that dress. Height of the 80′s – bows for sleeves, yards of crinoline, gushy gauzy glamor in this eye-affronting shade of pink that shoots straight at the 8-year-old-girl inside us all. This thing WEEPS netting, folks. It’s a size four.

We recently started eating primally, you see, and Melanie – already skinny – took to changing our lifestyle like a duck to water. My pounds are coming off a little more slowly. When she came bounding down the stairs in the Pink Monstrosity I had to hide a flinch – I hate that dress. Not because I think she shouldn’t wear what she wants but because it’s just an ugly dress. But she hasn’t fit in it for years now and the fact that she dropped 30 pounds in two months (healthily!) has her beaming and dancing and flouncing.


I’m glad she can fit in the dress. Even if she’s not going to get to wear it this year because Melanie is going as Luke with our little boy as Yoda on his back. Because the dress – ugly as it is – makes her happy. It’s the dress she stole from under her father’s bed, the first outfit she tried on when she decided to really embrace her crossdressing.

It’s nothing but 80′s, nothing but net… but it has nothing but memories for her. Some shameful-

Dating: What if TheGirlfriend won’t like it? What if TheGirlfriend laughs? (Side note: I didn’t. But I did double-take. And flinch. I can’t ever stop the flinch!)
Marriage: Why can’t I fit into it anymore? Am I getting fat?
Pre-Baby: I have a beard now. I make an ugly woman. I can’t wear the Dress.

Some not:
First Halloween together: TheWife did Melanie’s makeup and hair and taught her not to look like a total skank. When we arrived at the party some people didn’t recognize Melanie… they thought she was “some friend” I brought along. Until Melanie’s very manly voice issued forth and they realized that “She” was really “TheHusband”.

I’m wandering. I’m tired. This post probably won’t make much sense and I’ll probably have to go back and fix it up.

The essence of the matter is this – if your husband has a dress he loves, even if you hate it, don’t do a damn thing to it. Even if he hasn’t fit in it for years. Let that ridiculous heap of ugly hang in the closet. Because you’ll never know when he’ll drop all the weight and be ecstatic to be wearing it again.

Or when Halloween will roll around.

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3 Responses to “The Halloween Dress”

  1. Dawn says:

    My CD and I just had a smallish tiff over a photo of the Halloween dress. ‘Course this photo was a whole pro-makeover with expensive wig and real photographer, done about 15yrs ago. The tiff came about because he posted it on facebook today. Not exactly your casual halloween snapshot. I’ve only ever asked one thing, and that is to keep some discretion, to keep Matt world and Kim world separate. Mostly because people can be cruel and stupid and because 2 of the kids are still young. I don’t think it is too much to ask, but he really has a huge amount of trouble not letting Kim takeover Matt. And I get to feel like a monster for not being game enough.
    I envy your cool, easy attitude.

    • TheWife says:

      It took a long, long time to develop this attitude. And I’d be lying if I said we never, ever fight about it. But I’m a big believer in the “anything can be talked out if you are just persistent enough” approach to relationships. We’ve had week-long fights before… but it always gets talked out in the end.

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